Life is a Journey

My life has been a journey. There are times that I was distinctively following Jesus Christ. There are times I fell off the wagon and made poor choices. Having children and experiencing life trials opened my eyes. I may not be rich or have the things that i desire. I can say I have a family who loves me and cherishes me. I think my whole life I have held my hand out to anyone and everyone passing me. I have helped out anyone needing help. Even if that person somehow has betrayed me or let me down, I held my hand out to them. At one point in time i was called the 'Go To Girl,' since i was always helping people out. Why do I do this? Wouldnt God do it? My trust in people has pretty much gone away. Im tired of being taken advantage of or not mattering when I need a hand held out to me. Life isnt always easy. Even with god in your life, it can be hard. You have to sit back and chose paths you want your family to follow. Even if its not a path you want to take. I guess I have opened my eyes and im not sitting in the back row of the bleachers anymore. Im standing on the stage and voicing my opinion. Im tired of being shot at and turned away. My life has meaning. My kids may not always be on their best behavior but as a mother it is my job to redirect them. They learn bad choices from other people. Its my duty as a mother to redirect their behavior. I can lock my kids in the house with no video games, tv and radio and they will never learn bad things (unless they come from me). Thats not likely going to happen. I guess what Im saying is God gives us choices everyday. We choose which ones to follow. Its our choice to lock our kids up or to not hold our hand out when someone passes by. I feel that Im a pretty good person and i will be there for pretty much anyone as long as they havent screwed me over in some way or another. I have many great friends and I thank God for that. Most people have one maybe two great friends. I can say I have quite a few. I may have lost alot of friends through my journey but i think god makes us go through hearache to become stronger. My friends have helped me to become stronger. I feel that God cant be here on earth so he gave us friends to help him. I may not always know the right things to say or do. I may not always think people are really listening to me or thinking of me. But I do know that I have at least one person in my life that does listen and know how im feeling and thats God. I dont know why ive focused on God so much lately but I have turned to him the last month. Ive gone through alot the last month and I turned to God for help. He has been here for me and always will be. I know not everyone will be able to drop what they are doing to help me physically or mentally but I know I have friends who will.